Pearly Whites!!!

Yesterday we took the kids to Famous Daves for dinner. We gave Bell some fries, she is a very ambitious eater. As a matter of fact we have not found one thing that she does not like. My other two are doing good to like one thing and have been like that since they started solid foods. Anyhow yesterday morning I noticed a little white bump on her lower gums. I kept checking it all day, nothing, nothing and nothing. While we were eating dinner she screamed and started shaking like she had been hurt really badly. I picked her up and looked her over, all fine. Then I noticed she was holding her fry and trying to eat it and crying every time she put it up to her gums. I checked and up had popped that little tiny tooth! I can't wait until it comes up enough to see. I will post 100 pictures as soon as you can actually see it. I am sure you are just as excited as I am!

A Movin' and a Shakin'

I haven't had a chance to post or comment much lately. We are in full move mode. As I write this I am trapped in my parents room. The carpet guy is right outside the door. We had to get new carpet for Bella to crawl around on. It's the same carpet that we had installed in our house just this past December just in a different color. We have just about finished the kids rooms, they just need crown molding and base boards. My house is another story. There is stuff everywhere. Our closing date is April 2nd. I am ready for the week to be over and to be settled in. The kids are excited, but restless. Anyhow I am going to wrap this up because I must go check on the carpet.

I Do...Now I Don't

Divorce...this is a subject that I have heard way too much about lately. I am sick and tired of hearing about it. Not to be on the listening ear end, but to keep hearing over and over about more and more people getting divorced. I mean in the last couple of weeks I have heard of at least five couples, mostly with kids, getting divorced. I am sick of it. I want to scream out enough. I can tell you story after story about hurting families. In every single case I have heard of the wife is the one having an affair, needing out, and calling it quits. These women have gone to great lengths to destroy their husbands, as if leaving is not enough. I am so devastated by this. In one story a wife began hanging out with divorced women going out to bars and such. She has called the cops for domestic abuse had the husband removed from the home made mocking faces at him while he was sitting in the cop car. I am not claiming that this woman is a christian, she is the soon to be ex-wife of a man at my husbands’ work. The saddest part is that they have three kids. This couple is one of the four couples at his work currently getting divorced; there are a few more couples that may follow suit given the history. Many of the stories we have recently heard are because of affairs on the women’s part. My husband’s best friend is in the middle of a divorce because his wife met a man at work and began having an affair. This man treated her well at first, complimenting her and such. Just a few short months later he began beating her. They had been married less than two years when she started cheating on him. Come on ladies the grass is never green for longer than a season. Another incident I heard just last week was of a childhood friend and his wife whom I knew of but didn't know personally. They were only married a year (or less) when she started having an affair with someone she met while at work. The last two I mentioned were christian women following after the heart of God. How does this happen? How long do women think the honeymoon is supposed to last? Forever, well yes it should but I don't think that the part where you ooh and aah over each other lasts for all that long. I also think that if you need to be adored all day long and affirmed constantly that you should get comfortable with yourself before you get married. Why are women so insecure that the second someone looks their way they gravitate toward them? Don't get me wrong I like a compliment now and then; I like to be appreciated for what I do. But I also am more than glad to let my hubby know if I feel as if I am not getting my due appreciation. I am not 100% on this but I would think most husbands would rather know if there is something they can do before it becomes a problem. This is why you are supposed to work at your marriage. I think that we should have a class or a group meeting or something explaining what married life is like before they tie the knot. I am sick of Hollywood romanticizing married life as beautiful and pretty and lovely all the time. I think this puts both undue pressure and unrealistic expectations on couples. In one of the above cases the woman was actually mad that for Valentines Day her husband bought one particular type of flowers and didn't know her favorite kind. You know what we got each other for V-Day? Nada, same thing we get every year. If one of us felt like getting the other one something this is not taboo it is just not what our marriage is based on. "Stuff" can only make you as happy as you already are. I know this post is kind of all over the place but I wrote as it came to mind (as you can tell). But what I'm really getting at is asking you to please pray for all the broken hurting people, wives, husbands, children and family members. They all grieve going through or watching someone they love go through a divorce. Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," say the Lord God of Israel...

This morning I had my third ultrasound. I had the first one because I had placenta previa. Something about the the placenta being under the sac that holds the baby. Today they said it looks good. It is clearing up on its own. I am very glad of that. Apparently at 28 weeks if it hasn't cleared up you go on strict bed rest and if it hasn't cleared up by delivery you have to have a c-section. I am not smart enough to have been even remotely concerned. Like it was never a possibility or something, I don’t know. I avoid things until I have to deal with them. It's a great coping method - I know.

Anyhow this has nothing to do with my post today; my post today is about something much worse. It's about K’s dad never showing up to get her. She stayed home today because she was sick. I called him t

his morning and left a message at 9:30 to let him know to pick her up at home. K is never sick; she never has to stay home from school. She woke up this morning, laid on the couch and didn't move all day. Around 3:00 she said that she wanted to go to his house, I called his Dad to let him know that if he was coming to pick her up she was sick and to pick her up at home. He said her dad was coming to pick her up. He should be at school at 3:30 that is when she gets out. Every other Tuesday he has her overnight. So 3:30 came and went, she kept asking "where's my Dad?" "I'm sure he'll be here soon honey," checking the clock then the window. Finally I called him again and left another message. Then after another 20 minutes went by I called his dad again. He hadn't heard from him. He said he would call him and call me back. Waited a little longer then his Mom calls and says "B just checked his messages and is running a little late at work, he asked me to come and get her." All righty I said, there was nothing else to say there is nothing I can do about it. I am tied by court tape. I am so ticked. He will not return my calls. He hasn't called me back in about a year. If I called and said that there was a life threatening emergency he wouldn't call back. I am sick of him calling his mom to rescue him. I am also sick of her lying line of crap. She is so full of it. Yet I have to remain social for K's sake. Then she comes up to me in front of about twenty people and asks if she can have K for a b-day party. I was under pressure and said yes. Stupid me. I asked K whose baby’s party it is, she has no ideal. Furthermore there is no way he had just checked his messages, what he just didn't show up to get her from school and realized over an hour later that he forgot? I think it's more like he got the messages and choose not to call but knew that I'd be there so it would be fine to disregard the rules of politeness. What to do, what to say if and when I ever get a chance to speak to him again. Any Ideals?

Aid

Aid is my older cousin and she is great! The following are just some reasons I love her. I wish I could find a picture of her to post but I can't so you'll just have to imagine her. She is pretty and funny and that's all I can say. I am not very descriptive. She taught me to make ice cream with my bike flipped upside down using the pedals in our front yard. She put me in a suitcase with the afghan my grandma made zipped it up and carried me around the house. She put me in the dryer, shut it and would not let me out. She had a slip and slide. She took me for bike rides through these cool trials behind her Grandma's house. She married me to our neighbor boy Darrell in our back yard. She taught me to make a boat out of our couch cushions and we played for hours. She taught me to squish berries on the ground and picnic table and track the gooeyness on the carpet, and then she even let me take the blame. She once crawled onto the roof of our old pastors garage to get a doll named Frances, then one of his son's took the ladder away and she pleaded for a great deal of the afternoon for the ladder back. She took me to the park behind my house to teach me to drive. She didn't even yell that much when I had her escort up on two wheels. She had a dog named Gypsy that she called Bubbers. One day she pushed Bubbers off the top bunk to see if she could fly, she could not. She's good but even she couldn't teach me to make mac'n'cheese. I don't hold this against her. She flew off our trampoline head first. All I saw from the pool was feet in the air and a very loud aaahhhhhh! I appreciate this for the laugh I still have to this day thinking about it. She let me come up north with her all the time. I loved it up there. She got to go to youth camp so I did too! She loves the story about her sister sitting on her etch a sketch and breaking it as much as I do. She let me move in with her when I was completely lost on my own. She endured a 10 hour car ride to Tennessee with Me, Chad and my kids. I am not even sure how this is possible. She moved in with me and didn't ever yell at me when Tristin ran all over the place screaming while she was sleeping. I did run behind him trying to shush him. It didn't work for long. She was my matron of honor in my real wedding. She loves my kids. She is thoughtful. She picks out everyone the most perfect gifts, because she is thoughtful. She helps everyone. She is beautiful. I always wanted to be her!

Houston, We Have a Problem

I was just about to put the kids in bed when they asked if they could play for five minutes before bed. I said sure, what's five minutes any how? So K came out a few minutes later with breasts. I was puzzled??? Me: Uh, whatcha doin honey? Her: I'm playing. Me: what are you playing? Her: princess. Me: oh. Her: ear to ear grin. Me: what's in your jammies? Her: socks. Me: I see that. Her: ear to eat grin. Me: why? Her: I already told you, I'm being a princess, how's my hair look. Me: great, now take out the socks and go get into bed. I am not usually so short. I was just horrified, I had never thought of this day. We've talked about periods and boys and even getting breasts, just never stuffing jammies at the age of seven. After a minute or so the horror wore off and I laughed realizing why she had just done this. She went to her friend’s play of Beauty and the Beast tonight. Duh, it should have clicked sooner. I was just shocked to see her like that. I thought I would handle the teenage years fine and I'm sure I will as long as she doesn't walk into her bedroom a little girl and walk right back out looking like that. I have this feeling that at least one of you is going to say she will. I am not as okay with her growing up as I thought I was. Reality hurts. Above picture is her when she was four. Tomorrow she will learn all about the breastplate of righteousness!

Pictures!

I dont have a whole lot to say. So I'm posting some pictures of the kids playing outside today.

Sunny Days

Today was one of those can't get any better days! Kaitlynne came home today, then even better than that she had a half day. We didn't do anything but enjoy the beautiful weather. We took Tristin outside to play before his sister came home. When she got home they went out and played. A few minutes later Kaitlynne's friend from down the street came over. We took them to the park at their school across the street. They played there for an hour or longer then we all went for a walk. The kids loved the weather, I loved them out of the house. They added another girl to the mix. They played until the chicken on the barbie was ready. Then we all came in and ate dinner and talked about the day. They all took baths and are tucked snuggly in their beds! I love this life. I love being a mom and all the days of endless summer fun! I can't wait. I hate the school year. I love when all my kids are with me all day. Kaitlynne just found out that she gets to go to her friend Destiny's play this weekend. She can't wait, she loves Destiny and her theater performances. I am so excited for her, she is growing up but it's okay. I think God lets them grow up little bits at a time. I love how smart he is. Oh and did I mention that we got a good solid offer on out house today? If all is well then we could be moving in about 2-3 weeks. We are all excited. Psalms 30:5 ...Rejoicing comes in the morning

Weary on Many Levels

I have been really looking forward to daylight savings time. I was thrilled to find out that it was coming early this year. I couldn't wait all day today, I kept thinking about the seven o'clock hour being light still. I was so excited until about 6:30 this morning when my favorite son woke up. This wouldn't have been that bad except his Daddy got home from work about a half an hour before. I talked to him when he stumbled into bed. Then I couldn't fall back asleep. Tristin and Bella were both up two separate times during the night. Add to this that I didn't go to bed until 11:00 which was actually 12:00. By the time Tristin came in and said he couldn't get back to sleep I gave in and got up. We watched cartoons for a couple of hours on the couch together. I am not sure who was more tired me or him. After that the whole day seemed to drag on and on. I felt like my head was heavy and I was moving in slow motion. Then I beat my self up all day because I felt like a bad mom. I wasn't interested in playing or doing puzzles. I wasn't very patient; this is something I usually am. I don't get annoyed easily with my kids. Today Tristin was exhausted and not obeying very well. I was exhausted and not tolerant to repeating myself multiple times. Did I forget to mention that Bella caught a cold and contracted pink eye (Tristin and Chad had this last week)? She fussed all day and into the night. I felt bad because she never fusses, but worse because I was crabby too. Not with her just crabby. On a completely different subject. I miss Kaitlynne, she is at her Dad's for the weekend. This hasn't always bothered me as much in the past as it has in the last few weeks. Every time she comes home she cries. It is always something. Generally it is her Dad and his new wife fighting, Chad and I don't really ever fight so this is something she is not used to seeing. She doesn't like that her Dad and Jen swear at each other, this is something that never happens in our home. She says that her toys are still at his Mom's house (they lived there until he got married, then moved into her apartment). She also says that her step sister’s toys are all there. She says she has to ask to play with them and can only do so if her ss is not playing or wanting to play with them. Apparently she has to sleep on the couch until her five year old step sister is asleep. I don't get it. They don't share a bed. They share a room but not a bed. They have bunk beds. Kaitlynne never makes noise; she is always the peace maker. I hate her being excluded. I would never allow that to happen in our family. This is different. I can't do anything about this; her Dad will not speak to me. It has never been like this before; we always talked about everything pertaining to her. Then he got married filed for custody and wont speak to us any longer. It is a very frustrating situation. It would be less stressful if he and his wife got along, and maybe they do, Kaitlynne just doesn't see it this way. Anyhow pray for her, she is such a sweet little girl and very fragile emotionally. I hate to see her hurt, I worry about her the whole time she is gone.

Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28

The Love of Spring

What a beautiful day. I am getting anxious for spring. Today I felt quite a bit better. I woke up and my hubby made me breakfast. We had eggs and toast and orange juice. It was great. I am afraid that the o.j. didn't help my belly ache though. Chad sent me off for a nap. I woke up and we all went to the grocery store. It was so beautiful outside. It made me feel even better. We decided to grill. While Chad was grilling I went out and hung out with him for a few minutes. We both really enjoyed that time, it was special. Not just the weather or feeling normal again but the feeling of first falling in love. It was there for just a few seconds but it was so real and brought back a flood of memories. It left a smile on my face for the rest of the day. I am looking forward to spring coming and with it the end of my first trimester. It should be a rejuvinating time for our whole family. I love going to the park and the ice cream shop and taking long walks. I love swimming and the kids playscape and sand. Vacations in Tennessee and visiting my in-laws. I love their mountain home. It makes me feel closer to God, like everything is more simple there. I feel so peaceful. So happy. I am lookoing forward to all these things with the coming of spring. Do you have a favorite season? Any one thing that you look forward to with the upcoming warm weather?

See! The winter is past...

Song of Songs 2:11

Thank You!

I have been sick for ever or at least it feels that way. My poor husband has had to pick up the slack. He has cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, done laundry and taken care of the kids on top of going to work. I appreciate this. I am exhausted with being exhausted. With lying on the couch, puking, group B strep and UTI's. I hurt and I can't stop throwing up or dry heaving. The doctor wrote me a prescription for some sort of anti nausea medicine. It worked pretty well the first couple days, made me exhausted but helped with the vomiting. Today I woke up throwing up followed by dry heaving and then repeated it. Walked Katy across the street to school and began dry heaving again, she looked completely embarrassed. I couldn't blame her I was embarrassed too, hunkered over the snow repeatedly gagging. All the poor girls’ friends passing by looking at both of us like they were embarrassed for us. She kissed me ran away in horror. What a start to the day. I can't risk going out for the sake of my family's pride. I wouldn't do this to them. To this add the fact that if I stand or sit for longer than like five seconds I feel sick. I would love to clean my house. This is what I do, it makes me happy. Sickly I really enjoy cleaning. It's fun and makes me feel good. I am posting this to express my frustration in some way other than moaning. But more so to thank Chad and all the husbands that pick up the slack when we wives fall apart. The house looks great, he made us tacos, not a piece of laundry on the floor (he has even taken the covers off the couch, loveseat and chair and washed them). I would have never even thought of that. He has done an incredible job. So this post is a thank you to him. He has turned out to be an even better husband than I could have hoped for. Thank you God for your gift of my spouse. Love must be sincere... Romans 12:9

Unwavering Love

Psalms 86:13 For great is your love toward me... We all know how much I love my kids. They all have their own special traits. Kaitlynne is genuinely sweet - all the time. She loves her siblings, listens the first time (usually) and easily does well in school. She is always creative, scrap booking and crafting. She is just a pleasure to have for a daughter. Bella is the perfect baby. She never cries, even when I pinch her. She smiles on command. She is very tolerant; yelling kids, being poked in the eye. Always just responds with a smile. I am blessed to have her. Unless things really change I don't ever see her being anything but a joy. Tristin, well this is where it gets a little tricky. He is funny, loves his sisters and??? Okay so the rest is all mischievous curiosity. He ALWAYS tests us to see how far he can take something. Sneaks and gets into things when we think he is behaving, like the time we were unloading groceries and he went into the bathroom, shut the door and painted the entire bathroom with cornstarch. This was very funny to everyone, we couldn't be angry because we didn't ensure that he had something productive to do. We gave him a stern warning, sent him off to his room, went to the living room and laughed. This is nothing unusual. Tonight we were out and he insisted on taking off both of his shirts, claiming he was hot. I demanded he put at least one of them back on, wrestled with him a little and enjoyed the rest of our evening. Well that is until he decided to rough up his sister - the one who minutes before was his blest fliend (best friend). And then he, and then, and then. He is always pushing it. Always. If he doesn't want to do something you can bet it is going to be a huge battle. He is never going to win, but he makes us work for our authority. Yet after all this I tell him all day long he is special, amazing and we are blessed to have him for a son. If I could change anything about him, I wouldn't. I adore him. This has got me to thinking...I am positive that God gives us a special compassion for our difficult children. This then led me to think, if we are made in God’s perfect image then how much more he must love us. Good, bad, sweet, nasty, pure heart or hard heart. He loves us all the same. When I feel unworthy of his love, of the gift of his son I always remember Tristin. Even when I am more difficult than I should be or directly defiant God just wants me to submit to him. To come back and try to be better next time. I should be able to do this, it shouldn't be hard. Sometimes it is though. I have to constantly shift my perspective back to God being God and me being me. Imperfect, not always nice, harsh and abrupt. This is why I am Amber and not God. I am reminded of King David and his many failures and yet he is called a man after God's heart. God help me to follow you, to submit to you and to thank you for all the many lessons you teach me everyday. I love you.

The Name Game

Proverbs 22:1 A good name is more desirable than great riches...

Last night we went out to dinner with my parents and my Aunt and Uncle. We went to the Texas Roadhouse. It was a very enjoyable dinner (except for Tristin puking on the wall and the floor). We really enjoyed ourselves. At some point during the night the topic of conversation turned to our next baby’s name. I threw a few names out there; my Uncle made a joke the name would be L-A-S-T. We all laughed. My Aunt informed me that she thought Chad and I would have six or seven kids. I told her that wasn't funny; she told me she wasn't joking. Most the conversation was about our kids, which I could carry on about endlessly. Went home had a nice relaxing evening. Started a blog and went to bed. Woke up (tired), made maracas, and sent Kaitlynne off to school. Chad and I tag teamed Tristin and Bella to get them dressed. Got ready ourselves. Off we went to my Mom's to drop the kids off. We were on our way to my first ultrasound appointment. I was excited and nervous. I was hoping that nothing was wrong and I was just measuring big. To the best of my calculations I should have been nine weeks and one day. I hadn't thought too much about seeing the baby, just a little worried. Once we got in there and she did her measurements she let us hear the heartbeat. A few minutes later we got to see the baby, which quite honestly looked to us like the head and body were switched around. The case in point - we are definitely having a fourth baby! It is easy to put out of mind, belly is not too big yet, kids running around all day. Today it became real - really real. So then I began wondering boy or girl. I can't wait to find out we have another ultrasound in two weeks. I am quite sure that we still won’t be able to find out; I will only be 11 weeks one day. We have always pretty much known what we would name our kids. This time we are having a really hard time. Nothing seems right.

Here is our running list...

For a boy

Chad's great grandfather’s name was Birg, we have decided on that for a middle name

First names: Owen, Mason, Parker

For a girl

We like Lauren pronounced La Ren for a middle name.

First names Azalea, this was my grandmother’s name. It makes me think of double layer chocolate cake, mud pies in Kentucky, the lake house in Florida, the porch swing, lots of huge meals and lizards - yes lizards.

Addison and Kendall

We also like Hudson for either sex. This was our favorite name, it was the name for three of our other pregnancies all of which we lost. We decided against that for our last baby and instead went with Isabella, it means consecrated to God. We really like Hudosn and it is a big contender. But we want to know what you think, any you really like? Any suggestions? We are open to anything. So be honest and creative.

Beads

My oldest child Kaitlynne participated in a read at night program at school. The deal was that they would read a gazillion hours in 5 weeks and each week they got a prize. Her prizes all revolve around free food, other than the slip for a free movie rental. We had nothing to do this weekend so Chad and I decided to cash in a few of the slips as a reward to her. So Chad took Katy and Tristin to get her movie and pizza. Obviously they must have snacks which leads to the Sprite bottles. Each of them got a Sprite and candy. The next day I was laying on the couch (in misery) and the kids ran up the stairs laughing and carrying on. They came jumping all around me waving Sprite bottles that had been stripped of their Sprite clothing now dressed in bright sticky foam shapes, animals, purses...well you get the ideal. They were cheering Daddy said we could put beads in these and make them maracas. Great ideal I thought, good creativity Dad. Then that nasty gut feeling came into play. This is when I begin worrying about my darling sweet son Tristin now 3. I should point out here that no one sees him this way except me (and Karen), I am reasonably sure others see him as rambunctious and loud - I see a halo - seriously. Tristin loves beads, they roll and are considered balls. He also loves how perfectly they fit into the 2 small holes in his face referred to as nostrils. He has been to the emergency room twice with these "balls" up his nose. Just a few days ago he announced he put a popcorn ball up his nose, thank God I was able to push that one out. Long story short the Sprite bottles are still on my counter empty...how many times can you take in a child for the same thing before they no longer deem him your child??? I am slightly concerned about this, I mean I really like him. Now I feel guilty Kaitlynne goes to her Dads tomorrow. I am imagining a very noisy morning. I can't let her go without finishing them I will think about it all day. It should be another exciting morning!