Sunday, March 11, 2007

Weary on Many Levels

I have been really looking forward to daylight savings time. I was thrilled to find out that it was coming early this year. I couldn't wait all day today, I kept thinking about the seven o'clock hour being light still. I was so excited until about 6:30 this morning when my favorite son woke up. This wouldn't have been that bad except his Daddy got home from work about a half an hour before. I talked to him when he stumbled into bed. Then I couldn't fall back asleep. Tristin and Bella were both up two separate times during the night. Add to this that I didn't go to bed until 11:00 which was actually 12:00. By the time Tristin came in and said he couldn't get back to sleep I gave in and got up. We watched cartoons for a couple of hours on the couch together. I am not sure who was more tired me or him. After that the whole day seemed to drag on and on. I felt like my head was heavy and I was moving in slow motion. Then I beat my self up all day because I felt like a bad mom. I wasn't interested in playing or doing puzzles. I wasn't very patient; this is something I usually am. I don't get annoyed easily with my kids. Today Tristin was exhausted and not obeying very well. I was exhausted and not tolerant to repeating myself multiple times. Did I forget to mention that Bella caught a cold and contracted pink eye (Tristin and Chad had this last week)? She fussed all day and into the night. I felt bad because she never fusses, but worse because I was crabby too. Not with her just crabby. On a completely different subject. I miss Kaitlynne, she is at her Dad's for the weekend. This hasn't always bothered me as much in the past as it has in the last few weeks. Every time she comes home she cries. It is always something. Generally it is her Dad and his new wife fighting, Chad and I don't really ever fight so this is something she is not used to seeing. She doesn't like that her Dad and Jen swear at each other, this is something that never happens in our home. She says that her toys are still at his Mom's house (they lived there until he got married, then moved into her apartment). She also says that her step sister’s toys are all there. She says she has to ask to play with them and can only do so if her ss is not playing or wanting to play with them. Apparently she has to sleep on the couch until her five year old step sister is asleep. I don't get it. They don't share a bed. They share a room but not a bed. They have bunk beds. Kaitlynne never makes noise; she is always the peace maker. I hate her being excluded. I would never allow that to happen in our family. This is different. I can't do anything about this; her Dad will not speak to me. It has never been like this before; we always talked about everything pertaining to her. Then he got married filed for custody and wont speak to us any longer. It is a very frustrating situation. It would be less stressful if he and his wife got along, and maybe they do, Kaitlynne just doesn't see it this way. Anyhow pray for her, she is such a sweet little girl and very fragile emotionally. I hate to see her hurt, I worry about her the whole time she is gone.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Matthew 11:28


At March 11, 2007 at 11:35 PM , Blogger Arlene said...

Sista' Susan and I prayed together today about Kaitlynne's situation. We were telling her and "Momma" about it last night and this morning in church she grabbed my hands and said, let's pray for Kaitlynne and the situation that she is in. She also prayed for Brian and his new family to get saved.

We will continue to lift her up in prayer, as always!

At March 12, 2007 at 2:46 PM , Blogger Margie said...

stupid blogger! I typed up a prayer as I was saying it, and it blew me out... UGH! I hate that!

At March 12, 2007 at 3:43 PM , Blogger Amber Land said...

I appreciate the prayers God knows what you said Margie. I really thank you for taking the time to pray for a little girl you don't even know! That's very sweet of you.

At March 12, 2007 at 4:26 PM , Blogger Pat said...

Whoa, that's a whole heap of life thrown at you sister!
Try not to worry about your first born - God is in control and Granny and the rest of us are praying for her!
it's OK to be tired and a little short on patience ~ that's just the way it goes sometimes - everyone will survive, no make that thrive because they know how much you love them.

At March 13, 2007 at 9:12 AM , Anonymous Karen said...

Everyone has a not so great "MOM" day that is life especially when you haven't gotten any sleep. If they could express their feeling they wouldn't even notice. You are a great Mom cut yourself some slack. As for Kaitlynne God knows her situation he isn't surprised by anything that happens. You never know why we go through things. This may help Kaitlynne some day in some way. You are raising Kaitlynne in a Godly way she will learn to recognize spiritual things and how they are different from worldly things faster than you and I did being sheltered all our lives this is your opportunity to discuss those thing and show her how a Christian would handle things and how a family that doesn't know Christ YET act. It is all a learning experience. But just remember you dedicated her to God she is his and he will protect her.

John 4:4
4 But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world.


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