Friday, March 23, 2007

I Do...Now I Don't

Divorce...this is a subject that I have heard way too much about lately. I am sick and tired of hearing about it. Not to be on the listening ear end, but to keep hearing over and over about more and more people getting divorced. I mean in the last couple of weeks I have heard of at least five couples, mostly with kids, getting divorced. I am sick of it. I want to scream out enough. I can tell you story after story about hurting families. In every single case I have heard of the wife is the one having an affair, needing out, and calling it quits. These women have gone to great lengths to destroy their husbands, as if leaving is not enough. I am so devastated by this. In one story a wife began hanging out with divorced women going out to bars and such. She has called the cops for domestic abuse had the husband removed from the home made mocking faces at him while he was sitting in the cop car. I am not claiming that this woman is a christian, she is the soon to be ex-wife of a man at my husbands’ work. The saddest part is that they have three kids. This couple is one of the four couples at his work currently getting divorced; there are a few more couples that may follow suit given the history. Many of the stories we have recently heard are because of affairs on the women’s part. My husband’s best friend is in the middle of a divorce because his wife met a man at work and began having an affair. This man treated her well at first, complimenting her and such. Just a few short months later he began beating her. They had been married less than two years when she started cheating on him. Come on ladies the grass is never green for longer than a season. Another incident I heard just last week was of a childhood friend and his wife whom I knew of but didn't know personally. They were only married a year (or less) when she started having an affair with someone she met while at work. The last two I mentioned were christian women following after the heart of God. How does this happen? How long do women think the honeymoon is supposed to last? Forever, well yes it should but I don't think that the part where you ooh and aah over each other lasts for all that long. I also think that if you need to be adored all day long and affirmed constantly that you should get comfortable with yourself before you get married. Why are women so insecure that the second someone looks their way they gravitate toward them? Don't get me wrong I like a compliment now and then; I like to be appreciated for what I do. But I also am more than glad to let my hubby know if I feel as if I am not getting my due appreciation. I am not 100% on this but I would think most husbands would rather know if there is something they can do before it becomes a problem. This is why you are supposed to work at your marriage. I think that we should have a class or a group meeting or something explaining what married life is like before they tie the knot. I am sick of Hollywood romanticizing married life as beautiful and pretty and lovely all the time. I think this puts both undue pressure and unrealistic expectations on couples. In one of the above cases the woman was actually mad that for Valentines Day her husband bought one particular type of flowers and didn't know her favorite kind. You know what we got each other for V-Day? Nada, same thing we get every year. If one of us felt like getting the other one something this is not taboo it is just not what our marriage is based on. "Stuff" can only make you as happy as you already are. I know this post is kind of all over the place but I wrote as it came to mind (as you can tell). But what I'm really getting at is asking you to please pray for all the broken hurting people, wives, husbands, children and family members. They all grieve going through or watching someone they love go through a divorce. Malachi 2:16 "I hate divorce," say the Lord God of Israel...

11 Comments:

At March 23, 2007 at 11:34 PM , Blogger Arlene said...

Divorce is such a sad word. I know that when many people get married they say that "if" it works out we will stay together. Not the right attitude. You should go into your marriage stating that you will stay married. Divorce should not be an option. There's another man and his wife that we know of that is getting a divorce. I asked him two weeks ago, how his wife was...my wife, my wife...we're getting a divorce. They have been married for a long, long time and he's hurting big time too. Please pray for him along with all of these others that you mentioned!

 
At March 23, 2007 at 11:51 PM , Blogger Amber Land said...

I forgot about them. See I am hearing this so much I can't even remember it all. Again another couple with a child.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 2:26 AM , Anonymous Aid said...

Can anyone help me divorce my cat? He hasnt had an affair as of yet, but he constantly leaves the toilet seat up, and frankly im getting t.o'd! J/K....yeah I hear of people getting divorced all the time. Relationships like yours and Chad, or your mom and dad are one in a million. I can only hope I meet someone one day and have a relationship as genuine as the ones you both hold.....

 
At March 24, 2007 at 7:12 AM , Blogger Sara said...

you are so right am. people some times don't realize that divorce is not a pain/consequence-free solution. there's lots of recovery needed afterward; i have a sweet friend who shares her own hurt to help others through this. we need to pray, counsel, pray some more and make ourselves available to couples at all points in their journeys together...before, during and if necessary; after the marriage. great post. p.s. we don't celebrate valentines' or sweetest day either. although i do shave my legs semi-annually. it's my gift to the mr.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 9:37 AM , Blogger Amber Land said...

I've decided I have too many kids to shave, not enough time in the shower. Bad things happen when I stay in there more than 10 minutes.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 9:53 AM , Blogger Pat said...

Such a wise post for such a young person. Marriage and family are now throw away versions of what they should be. The effects of divorce go on generation after generation.
Great post Am.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 5:26 PM , Blogger Margie said...

what is with you guys and not shaving your legs? Gross!!

Divorce is awful... will pray

 
At March 24, 2007 at 7:47 PM , Blogger Sara said...

although this post is about more important things...margie i DO shave my legs when i need to. i just don't often need to.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 9:06 PM , Blogger Margie said...

do you think people under estimate the little things that people can or don't do for their spouses? The little things that say I love you? like silly little notes, picking up laundry. I know it grosses me out about the leg shaving but really, do you think someone might think "she doesn't even care enough to take the 2 minutes to shave her legs for me?"

As someone who can let the little things drive me right to the funny farm, I think that people underestimate the importance of them...

 
At March 24, 2007 at 9:08 PM , Blogger Sara said...

yes, i think there's a point to what you're saying margie. and let me reiterate...my legs are not hairy. they don't get hairy. sheesh. p.s. i've tried using "i haven't shaved my legs" and the mr. doesn't care. so i don't know what to say.

 
At March 24, 2007 at 9:18 PM , Blogger Amber Land said...

Margie...I totally think that what you are saying is true. I think people do leave out the small things. I try to always do at least one special thing to show that I care a day. By the way even though I don't shave often I wax my legs about once a month and that usually takes care of it. But I do think my husband would say, seriously you aren't taking time out for you for me. If that makes sense.

 

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home