Monday, May 21, 2007

We are Having a......

Okay so we are back from our ultrasound appointment. I should first point out here that each time I have been pregnant God has been gracious to bless me with the sex of the baby that I really desired. This time was no different, it is the first thing that pops in my head every time I hear Psalms 37:4 . It is a one time only granting but it is the biggest thing I could ever hope for bigger than a house or business or car, it will always be my ever present reminder that God cares about my hearts desire. We are having a girl. We are all excited, I wanted a girl because Bella and her could share a room, I could pass down clothes, and they would be so close in age that they would grow up together sharing girly secrets. T had a fit when he found out we were having a girl, he slithered out of his chair and started whining I don't like grills (girls). We were laughing so hard. By the time we were leaving the office he had decided that he liked her a tiny bit, and within five minutes in the car he loved her. I think he is more excited than the rest of us.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Boy or Girl???

I am so excited!!! Next Monday is my ultrasound. I am finally at the half way mark! We will get to see our baby again. This time we are taking the kids, so they can see too. I hope that we get to find out the sex of the baby. I am ready to start buying things for this little one. I love being pregnant but this time it has been a little different. I was really sick in the beginning and now I am barely showing, this is not normal for me. I am usually huge by the time I find out. At our last doctor appointment she measured and said that the baby seems to be growing right on trac and the heart beat was good. I have gained 2 pounds and I'm supposed to have gained ten by now. I have never had a problem putting on wieght. Maybe taking it off but never putting it on! The doc mentioned that it could be from having three children at home and tending to them, come on they are kids I am not chasing them in a marathon. After all my concern I am still feeling like everything will be fine. I trust that this last baby is a gift from God and we have prayed for it since we found out. So I remain excited, I will take my children and mentally prepare myself for the reality of being a mother of four. That has still not set in. I am blessed to get to stay home with them while they are small and witness all lifes firsts. Reading Margie's blog made me remember what it is like to have to work twice as hard just to survive. I am glad that I have had that experience so I know how much to be thankful for now. Hold on Margie your day will come and it will be worth the wait.
Boy or Girl any guesses?

Saturday, May 12, 2007

It is mothers Day weekend as we all know. This year I love Mothers Day again. I love it because we get to celebrate the joys of motherhood. I love getting together with family (although our huge family BBQ may be frozen out). I love being a mom, I love my kids and all the mothers represented in our family. Again we usually don't do presents. The kids make me a card or something. And I save it, if I could find last years note in our storage unit easily I would get it out, take a pic and post it. I have never laughed so hard. It was supposed to be sweet and it was but also funny, kids are so honest. I like the everyday tasks of being a mom. I like getting everyone bathed, dressed, ready for school. I like soccer, softball, ice skating, dance, and cheerleading. I like it all. To be very truthful there is not much I dislike. These are all the reasons I love Mothers Day. The reason I didn't use to love it is that two years ago Sunday I was pregnant. I was so excited I could not wait. I had two previous miscarriages but I was much further along this time. I was 12 weeks, two weeks away from being in my second trimester. I woke up put on my new outfit that my hubby bought me for M-Day felt great. Got K&T dressed and headed off to church. We sat next to Sara, church was packed. We had only been going to Metro for about a month. We left church and were going to the golf course for lunch with my whole family. We had to go home for something on the way; we left the kids in the car and ran in the house for whatever it was that we needed. I had to go pee as usual. When I wiped I noticed a bit of blood. I was freaked out, yelled for Chad, who had already got back into the car. I went out got in the car and he said what’s wrong, are you okay? Not really I replied. I am bleeding a little bit. I called my doctor; he called back and said he'd see me in the morning and to stay off my feet. I went into the doctor, he didn't say much. Same instructions stay off your feet. Followed the instructions for the evening and went to bed. When I woke up I went to the bathroom and by the time I sat down I was covered in blood. It was all over the floor, me and I couldn't stand because I was pouring blood. I screamed for Chad he came running and called the doc. He obviously said to take me to the hospital and he would be right there. This was a very new, in the past I had never had this sort of bleeding. The doctor met us there a little bit later. We had called my parents on the way who had called Sara to call Jeremy. The doctor came and checked me; I didn't realize that I would feel him pull the baby out. I don't remember much, the nurse complimenting Chad for being so caring, being told to hold my breath to push. That's about it but I do specifically remember the feeling of the baby being pulled out. After that I had to wait for an OR to open I had to have my third DNC. Sara came in while I was waiting for the OR to open. She said if it was okay she was going to take T home with her, so my parents could stay. I couldn't believe she was willing to do that. Not particularly enjoying kids other than my own and Grace I understood what a big offer this was. When I came home she brought him back and I remember thinking what an act of servant hood this was. I am not positive but I don't think hyper toddlers are her thing (I mean, she already did all that once with Mac). She came upstairs, asked how I was doing and mentioned something about hoping it was okay she gave him a happy meal. I was just glad he didn't have to sit at the hospital all day. The next day her and Mac brought over a box of yummy baked goods (which if I recall I ate almost entirely by my self). A few days later she sent a card. I was so touched by her caring that it made me examine myself. I don't know before her showing me how to reach out to someone that I would have known what to say or do even though I had been through it twice before. I generally like to keep to myself. I wasn't exactly thrilled Pastor J was called. I would rather deal with things privately. I would have at that time rather Sara had not been called. I now would never change that, her love gave me strength. I will never know why we lost that baby, all the tests came back normal. I do not question God about that. I am glad that he is God. I am at a point in my life that I finally do not think about it on a regular basis. I think about it more when I am pregnant but it isn't with a sad heart. It just is a part of my past. This is my second mother’s day since then and I do reflect on it this time of year. But because of Sara's love I hold a very different memory of the experience. Thanks Sara, I love you.

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Happy Birthday Stripes!!!!

For Tristin's 3rd birthday my girlfriend Karen bought him some toys and a movie. The movie was Stripes. She bought it for him for a reason, Blockbuster was calling asking for the one we rented back. He loved it and watched it all the time. The movie is about a zebra who thinks he's a race horse. Apparantly today was Stripes birthday. We went to Outback for dinner with my parents. When we were done eating our waitress asked if we wanted dessert. We declined, being that we were stuffed. Tristin kept trying to get our waitresses attention, excuse me Miss, excuse me Miss, excuse me Miss....(her) yes honey I'm listening to you. (him) Um, today is Stripes birthday. (her) What did he say? (me) Oh, he said it's Stripes birthday (I explain the story of Stripes), don't worry I think he just trying to score dessert. We all have a good laugh and she leaves. About five minutes later they bring Stripes an ice cream sunday. Best thing that came out of the night was that in celebration of Stripes b-day my Dad bought us dinner (he was very impressed with T's skills)! So this post is a Happy Birthday to Stripes.