Saturday, May 12, 2007

It is mothers Day weekend as we all know. This year I love Mothers Day again. I love it because we get to celebrate the joys of motherhood. I love getting together with family (although our huge family BBQ may be frozen out). I love being a mom, I love my kids and all the mothers represented in our family. Again we usually don't do presents. The kids make me a card or something. And I save it, if I could find last years note in our storage unit easily I would get it out, take a pic and post it. I have never laughed so hard. It was supposed to be sweet and it was but also funny, kids are so honest. I like the everyday tasks of being a mom. I like getting everyone bathed, dressed, ready for school. I like soccer, softball, ice skating, dance, and cheerleading. I like it all. To be very truthful there is not much I dislike. These are all the reasons I love Mothers Day. The reason I didn't use to love it is that two years ago Sunday I was pregnant. I was so excited I could not wait. I had two previous miscarriages but I was much further along this time. I was 12 weeks, two weeks away from being in my second trimester. I woke up put on my new outfit that my hubby bought me for M-Day felt great. Got K&T dressed and headed off to church. We sat next to Sara, church was packed. We had only been going to Metro for about a month. We left church and were going to the golf course for lunch with my whole family. We had to go home for something on the way; we left the kids in the car and ran in the house for whatever it was that we needed. I had to go pee as usual. When I wiped I noticed a bit of blood. I was freaked out, yelled for Chad, who had already got back into the car. I went out got in the car and he said what’s wrong, are you okay? Not really I replied. I am bleeding a little bit. I called my doctor; he called back and said he'd see me in the morning and to stay off my feet. I went into the doctor, he didn't say much. Same instructions stay off your feet. Followed the instructions for the evening and went to bed. When I woke up I went to the bathroom and by the time I sat down I was covered in blood. It was all over the floor, me and I couldn't stand because I was pouring blood. I screamed for Chad he came running and called the doc. He obviously said to take me to the hospital and he would be right there. This was a very new, in the past I had never had this sort of bleeding. The doctor met us there a little bit later. We had called my parents on the way who had called Sara to call Jeremy. The doctor came and checked me; I didn't realize that I would feel him pull the baby out. I don't remember much, the nurse complimenting Chad for being so caring, being told to hold my breath to push. That's about it but I do specifically remember the feeling of the baby being pulled out. After that I had to wait for an OR to open I had to have my third DNC. Sara came in while I was waiting for the OR to open. She said if it was okay she was going to take T home with her, so my parents could stay. I couldn't believe she was willing to do that. Not particularly enjoying kids other than my own and Grace I understood what a big offer this was. When I came home she brought him back and I remember thinking what an act of servant hood this was. I am not positive but I don't think hyper toddlers are her thing (I mean, she already did all that once with Mac). She came upstairs, asked how I was doing and mentioned something about hoping it was okay she gave him a happy meal. I was just glad he didn't have to sit at the hospital all day. The next day her and Mac brought over a box of yummy baked goods (which if I recall I ate almost entirely by my self). A few days later she sent a card. I was so touched by her caring that it made me examine myself. I don't know before her showing me how to reach out to someone that I would have known what to say or do even though I had been through it twice before. I generally like to keep to myself. I wasn't exactly thrilled Pastor J was called. I would rather deal with things privately. I would have at that time rather Sara had not been called. I now would never change that, her love gave me strength. I will never know why we lost that baby, all the tests came back normal. I do not question God about that. I am glad that he is God. I am at a point in my life that I finally do not think about it on a regular basis. I think about it more when I am pregnant but it isn't with a sad heart. It just is a part of my past. This is my second mother’s day since then and I do reflect on it this time of year. But because of Sara's love I hold a very different memory of the experience. Thanks Sara, I love you.

4 Comments:

At May 12, 2007 at 1:59 PM , Blogger Sara said...

love you too sweetheart.

 
At May 13, 2007 at 10:29 AM , Blogger Pat said...

That was the afternoon I went over Sara's. I didn't know your situation or that she had T.
That was the day I fell in love with that boy and claimed him as one of my own. He fits into our family perfectly - as do the rest of you. We love you!

 
At May 13, 2007 at 11:45 PM , Blogger Arlene said...

Thank God for wonderful friends that have been family for years now. We love you all too! Thank you all for being there for us!

 
At May 15, 2007 at 10:30 AM , Blogger Margie said...

She's amazing, her loves makes me reflect on a lot of things differently too.

 

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