It is mothers Day weekend as we all know. This year I love Mothers Day again. I love it because we get to celebrate the joys of motherhood. I love getting together with family (although our huge family BBQ may be frozen out). I love being a mom, I love my kids and all the mothers represented in our family. Again we usually don't do presents. The kids make me a card or something. And I save it, if I could find last years note in our storage unit easily I would get it out, take a pic and post it. I have never laughed so hard. It was supposed to be sweet and it was but also funny, kids are so honest. I like the everyday tasks of being a mom. I like getting everyone bathed, dressed, ready for school. I like soccer, softball, ice skating, dance, and cheerleading. I like it all. To be very truthful there is not much I dislike. These are all the reasons I love Mothers Day.
The reason I didn't use to love it is that two years ago Sunday I was pregnant. I was so excited I could not wait. I had two previous miscarriages but I was much further along this time. I was 12 weeks, two weeks away from being in my second trimester. I woke up put on my new outfit that my hubby bought me for M-Day felt great. Got K&T dressed and headed off to church. We sat next to Sara, church was packed. We had only been going to Metro for about a month. We left church and were going to the golf course for lunch with my whole family. We had to go home for something on the way; we left the kids in the car and ran in the house for whatever it was that we needed. I had to go pee as usual. When I wiped I noticed a bit of blood. I was freaked out, yelled for Chad, who had already got back into the car. I went out got in the car and he said what’s wrong, are you okay? Not really I replied. I am bleeding a little bit. I called my doctor; he called back and said he'd see me in the morning and to stay off my feet. I went into the doctor, he didn't say much. Same instructions stay off your feet. Followed the instructions for the evening and went to bed. When I woke up I went to the bathroom and by the time I sat down I was covered in blood. It was all over the floor, me and I couldn't stand because I was pouring blood. I screamed for Chad he came running and called the doc. He obviously said to take me to the hospital and he would be right there. This was a very new, in the past I had never had this sort of bleeding. The doctor met us there a little bit later. We had called my parents on the way who had called Sara to call Jeremy. The doctor came and checked me; I didn't realize that I would feel him pull the baby out. I don't remember much, the nurse complimenting Chad for being so caring, being told to hold my breath to push. That's about it but I do specifically remember the feeling of the baby being pulled out. After that I had to wait for an OR to open I had to have my third DNC. Sara came in while I was waiting for the OR to open. She said if it was okay she was going to take T home with her, so my parents could stay. I couldn't believe she was willing to do that. Not particularly enjoying kids other than my own and Grace I understood what a big offer this was. When I came home she brought him back and I remember thinking what an act of servant hood this was. I am not positive but I don't think hyper toddlers are her thing (I mean, she already did all that once with Mac). She came upstairs, asked how I was doing and mentioned something about hoping it was okay she gave him a happy meal. I was just glad he didn't have to sit at the hospital all day. The next day her and Mac brought over a box of yummy baked goods (which if I recall I ate almost entirely by my self). A few days later she sent a card. I was so touched by her caring that it made me examine myself. I don't know before her showing me how to reach out to someone that I would have known what to say or do even though I had been through it twice before. I generally like to keep to myself. I wasn't exactly thrilled Pastor J was called. I would rather deal with things privately. I would have at that time rather Sara had not been called. I now would never change that, her love gave me strength. I will never know why we lost that baby, all the tests came back normal. I do not question God about that. I am glad that he is God. I am at a point in my life that I finally do not think about it on a regular basis. I think about it more when I am pregnant but it isn't with a sad heart. It just is a part of my past. This is my second mother’s day since then and I do reflect on it this time of year. But because of Sara's love I hold a very different memory of the experience. Thanks Sara, I love you.
