Wednesday, January 9, 2008

My Crazy Life!

Bell is in a dress up stage right now, she will prance around all day in her fairy or princess dresses! The other pic is one Chad took, although not perfect, it captures the very essence of Bell, that is "her" face, it goes along with an ooo sound when she is concerned about something. I love that girl.

I don't know about your life but my life is crazy. I love my crazy life, I love having four kids. I love being married. I love being a daughter. Sometimes though, my life runs me, I don't run my life. There are the things that are out of my control, that is where life running me comes into play. I have been so overwhelmed the last couple of weeks. My husband has had bronchitis, both K and T have had pneumonia, Bell has an upper respiratory infection and an inner ear infection and Hudsyn has bronchitis. The little girls can't seem to shake their ickys and have to go back tomorrow to be reevaluated. They are almost done with their meds but are still very sick. Bell is by nature the sweetest girl on planet Earth and she has done nothing but whine, mostly to be carried and sweet quiet Hudsyn has cried nearly nonstop. Add to that all my Mother is going through and I feel as though I am losing ground. She has been having some very bad days lately and I don't even know the person sitting across from me. She is very confused and easily agitated. The confusion is coming from the morphine, the agitation is coming from knowing she is not all together mentally and the frustration of not being able to do things for herself. She has lost mostly all of her independence. It is a very hard thing to see your mother deteriorate. I go through times where I cry hard, to the point of hyperventilating and then I go through times where it is so surreal that I think I am in a dream. I wait until everyone is in bed to sort out my feelings. It is usually hit or miss whether I cry or feel life as I know it is simply too surreal to believe. I can't wait until everyone in my life receives their healing. Until then I will hide under the shadow of Gods wings and cling to the hope I have in Him.


At January 10, 2008 at 8:57 AM , Blogger If you can see what I see said...

Sweetie! I know your hurting so badly right now and your at your limit...but God is still God, you know all this, but let me encourage you this morning...God is going to take care of you MOM! He is her lifeline...the only one that can heal her body! God is the same today, as he was yesterday...HE never changes and HE LOVES you so much! I am asking that today HE restores your joy keep the faith...because all you need is a grain! Look up to HIM!!
I love you!

At January 10, 2008 at 3:48 PM , Blogger Louise said...

Dear Amber, you are in my thoughts and prayers and if there's anything I can do, please let me know. I can't imagine what you're going through but I know the One who will see you through. Even though it seems the opposite, His word is true when He tells us He will give no more than we can handle.
May God bless you Sweetheart.

At January 10, 2008 at 9:03 PM , Blogger Arlene - BY HIS STRIPES!!! said...

Thanks Louise, you have such a sweet spirit. me tomorrow if you get a chance, I keep forgetting. But I do need to talk to you. Your words ministered to me so usual. Love you too!


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